I'll miss it, but it's just becoming too painful for me. This blog reminds me of everything I've lost — my friendship with Luna, my friendship with Erin — and why I lost it. All this blog is is a record of everything I've done wrong.
I like to think I've learned from the experience, that I'll never repeat the same mistakes. But I know better than that. History repeats itself; history is the story of humans making the same mistakes over and over and over again. Every time we think we've learned and we never really have. Can I count myself above the entire human race here and say that I'll never make these mistakes again?
Erin is right, though. I'll never get anywhere if I don't keep trying. And that's why I think that, maybe next semester, I'm going to go back to public school.
Those kids who bullied me are older now. And if I can't believe that they've changed, I don't know how I can believe in myself to change.
I have to try to move on and start over.
Maybe I'll keep blogging, too, somewhere else. Maybe I'll get a Tumblr like Erin always wanted me to. I like blogging, but I don't think being on this blog is going to help me move on with my life. If anything, it's going to hold me back.
This is probably going to be my last post.
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