I usually feel better about things in the morning, but I don't really feel any better right now. I have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever I think about having to meet with Donna today, and having to hang out with Luna later in the afternoon.

In my previous posts I've been reiterating that everything's fine, but I don't know if that's true anymore. I don't know if that was ever true. It's been months since I felt like everything between Luna and I really was fine.

Sometimes I wish I could just quit the job — it is a job, after all, as Erin keeps reminding me — and be free. Even loneliness would be better than an unhappy friendship.

But I know I could never work up the nerve.

I'd be disappointing my mother.

I'd be disappointing Luna's parents.

I'd be disappointing Luna herself.

I think I'd even be disappointing me.