Erin just got online to reply to me.

(I decided to take out the timestamps from the chatlog because they just make it harder to read. Maybe later I'll go back and edit out the other ones.)

swerin: jack, it is a job.
swerin: you're making sure luna is okay. that's your job. correct?
swerin: you get paid to do that.
Jack Q: That's different. It only felt like work at first. Now we're friends.
Jack Q: I'm just saying that having to report on her wellbeing every night is making blogging feel like a job. And, honestly, I think it may be negatively impacting my relationship with Luna.
Jack Q: Whenever I hang out with her now I feel like I'm taking mental notes on her behavior, looking out for anything abnormal. It's like a chore. And I think she can tell I'm having less fun.
swerin: i don't give a damn what it feels like
swerin: work is what it IS
swerin: if u werent keeping an eye on her like this before then all that means is that up till now you've been a shitty worker
Jack Q: Technically, I'm getting paid to hang out with her, not to keep an eye on her.
swerin: you're getting paid to be friends with her
swerin: friends look out for each other jack
swerin: and you're under particular obligation to do so in this case because it's a job
swerin: she's your responsibility. and if she's too much responsibility, then you talk to her folks about it.
swerin: end story.
Jack Q: I've got this under control, I guess. It's just...
Jack Q: It doesn't feel like a real friendship anymore.
Jack Q: It's starting to feel forced.
swerin: that's how it always was jack
swerin: whether you felt it or not
swerin: i gotta go

I don't know how to feel about this anymore. I really do care about Luna, and I want her to be happy, it's just... being with her doesn't make me happy like it used to. Is that because she's been feeling down more often lately? Am I just being selfish? I know this really isn't about me. Even my own blog isn't about me. I feel like I'm a secondary character in my own story...

I need to sleep on this. Maybe I'll feel better in the morning. I just... I don't know anymore.